I don’t know about anyone else, but I get pissed when I’m driving and someone honks at me.
This has been a reoccurring situation a lot lately and I’m trying to pull the pieces of this mystery together and solve some shit.
My driving hasn’t altered. I still drive like my dad. I fly when I have nowhere to go and casually drive the speed limit when I’m late.
So what is the difference, why is everyone honking at me when I’m driving home after work?
It usually happens on a certain corner with a certain light. I’m turning left, traffic backs up, and all hell breaks loose.
“I’M TURNING LEFT … THERE IS NO TURNING LANE … WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, PULL INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC!??!” I always yell into my rear view mirror at the truck grill behind me, while I have my arms up like the Y guy in the YMCA dance.
I vent to friends and they change the subject cause, come on, someone honked at you, flip them off and move on. But that’s the deal. I can’t flip someone off cause I always think it is an old man or lady that is a grandmother or grandfather to someone. I wouldn’t want someone making the universal jerking off sign to my granny, and I don’t want to be that guy that did it to someone else’s granny. Or be there when they ask they grand kids, “what does this mean when someone gestures at you like they are stroking a cats tail? Or peeling a banana with one hand?”
Awkward.
But recently I returned to the scene of the honk. Maybe I missed a sign that says, ‘honk if you love garage sales’, in which case I would have, or ‘honk if you like the guys Honda in front of you’, which I would totally get.
Instead I found a modest sign at the top of the light pole that read ‘No Left Turns’.
I’ve been turning left after work for about six months, why haven’t I noticed this? And why has everyone else noticed it BUT me?
Next time I’m honking at who ever it is holding up traffic by turning left at 36th and Walker, granny or not!
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